Lovely Sunday

Currently, I am experiencing a Sunday that you really only see in movies. Sitting in a coffee shop (well Barnes & Noble, but close enough), writing a blog and looking out at the fall....well really looking at the mall parking lot. But still there are leaves outside our window, but that is because a man doing lawn care blew them over here. It is pleasant nevertheless.

Bryan and I have been having relaxing Sundays since we moved up here. It is nice to be able to stay in a new town over the weekend and try new things. For example, we went to the Plaza Art Fair a few weeks ago which was really great. They had a lot of art vendors and food lining the streets of the Country Club Plaza. It was one of the first cool days of fall which made it even better to be walking around. Then, today, as I type, we are sitting inside Barnes & Noble while Bryan studies for an exam on Monday and I write. We are listening to an orchestra play pop music covers and smelling the wonderful smell of coffee.

On the way to B&N, I took notice of people in other cars sitting at the stop light next to us. The car to our right had a man in a suit. Surely he had just come from church. People don't normally dress up on Sundays unless they are going to church or a Jewish wedding. That got me to thinking: If I noticed him in his suit, did he notice me in my "Not Everything In Kansas Is Flat" t-shirt? Would he wonder if I went to church while wearing this strategically placed saying on my shirt?

These thoughts somehow transported me back to my days at K-State taking a Religion and Culture anthropology class. The entire semester was focused on the idea of people being spiritual and religious. We did exercises where everyone would stand in the middle of the room and if you considered yourself more spiritual, you would move to one side of the room. If you considered yourself more religious, you would stand to the other side. If you did not know, you stood in the middle. Then we would move on to other topics like why you felt this way. Were you more liberal with your beliefs or pretty straightforward?

I had never thought about the difference between spirituality and being religious. To me, religion is going to church, having someone preach to you, and doing all the holidays in accordance with your beliefs. Spirituality to me is setting your own standard of what you believe in and practicing on your own. In my opinion, I am more spiritual than I am religious. I do incorporate some religion into my spirituality, but for the most part, I am looking just to feel good and not have a standard of what is right and what is wrong.

I know that there are people I am close to who might not agree with me, or might think I need to do more, but that is not what I believe. For example, when Bryan and I first moved up here, my mom would ask me repeatedly if we were going to find a church home. I would then explain that I do not believe that you need to go to church in order to have some kind of relationship with God. I did not mean this to insult her, but I just do not need organized religion to tell me what to do. Finally she stopped asking me, not because I am stubborn, but because I think she knew that this is what I wanted to do and maybe someday I would decide to go back to church. I don't have a problem with people going to church, it's just not something I need to feel like I am being a Christian.

When I was little, my family belonged to a church that my dad and granny had been going to since before I was born. My mom was raised in the Methodist church, and when she married my dad, she started going to the Church of Christ. This was a change for her, but one she accepted. We would not go every Sunday, but for the most part, we were regular attendees. Then some things happened and we ended up leaving the church. My granny stayed, but my mom, sister and I started going to Haysville Christian Church after my friend Austin invited me to a youth group outing. We found this to be our church home after everyone was so welcoming to us. My dad joined the church a little later. Soon we were involved with the church and it was really nice. My sister and I had our friends that we hung out with the most and my parents had found more adult friends. Plus we saved on gas because we were driving only about 3 miles from home instead of 45 minutes from home. My dad took a position as the adult-bible study teacher and my mom started planning groups with the other women of the church. Sonny and I were just old enough to help out with VBS which we found to be really fun.

As I moved on with my education and moved out of the house, I started taking my life into my hands. I felt free to do whatever I wanted to do. Church was not at the top of my list. I only lived about 30 minutes from home, but that is far enough to tell yourself that it is too long of a drive to go to church or I would work on Sunday mornings and study the rest of the day for school. When I did go home for a weekend visit, we would go to church and it felt good to be back. Then I moved to Manhattan, met my future husband, and now he was getting paid to go to church in Salina since he was the music director for that church. We would get up at 5:45 every Sunday morning to make an hour drive to Salina, spend the entire day there, and get home in time to finish whatever homework we had left to do. Most of the time it was really hard to get out of bed so early on the weekend. But then you meet all of the people within the church and you are glad you went.

While going to the United Methodist Church in Salina, I was asked to teach a 2nd-6th grade Sunday School class. I was hesitant at first because I am not a teacher. Then I met the kids and it became a little more enjoyable. However, I was teaching these kids from the very basics of the Bible. They had never had a Sunday School class before and had never learned anything about the Bible, so this was very difficult for me. I started with teaching them what the difference between a verse and chapter was and how to find different books of the Bible. When Bryan and I moved, the only thing I had really taught them that stuck was a song I had learned to memorize the books of the New Testament.

By the time I was teaching this class of young kids, I had come into my own thought on religion. I did not agree with everything that was in the Bible or some of the thinking that I was taught to believe. One of my biggest causes is equality for everyone including LGTB rights (which is quite obvious from my past posts). I also had been taught that people who did not believe had no moral values and were not people we should associate ourselves with. This sermon came from my parents church and it was after I had been married for almost a year. I guess I was just beside myself that someone would tell a group of people that people who do not believe or go to church had no morals or any place in our lives. This made my reasoning for being spiritual a little more evident. I know plenty of people who do not believe in a higher power or any power that know the difference between right and wrong. I did not think it was right for this preacher to tell people who they should befriend and who they should not. In church, aren't you taught to go and make disciples for Christ? How are you going to be that example if you don't have someone with a different belief in your life?

I am not saying that religion is bad, but I enjoy feeling free to think what I want and do what I want. I enjoy sleeping in until 9 or 10 a.m and going to art shows or book stores and not feeling bad for not going to church. I do not feel like religion is brainwashing, but I feel like sometimes you cannot have your own thought process.

Just to clarify, I feel like I should point out what I do believe:

1) I do believe in God. I enjoy praying, but I do not pray to have him produce a miracle for me. I pray to him kind of like how you would give a pep talk to yourself. I know that I can do everything, sometimes I just need to say it to get me going. I don't think he puts things in front of me by divine intervention. I think that when I talk to him, I realize that I can make things happen. I just want to be able to air my concerns. Kind of like when you talk to your best friend about the problems you are having. You don't want them to fix it for you, you just need to vent. That is what I do with God.

2) I believe in the power of prayer. I pray because I need to center myself again. I just need to focus, get my head back in order and do what I need to do to get things done. I feel like yoga is my prayer. I don't do yoga all the time, but the concept of calming yourself down and listening is my form of prayer.

3) Jesus. This is hard. I believe that he was alive. I came to my conclusion about Jesus after taking many classes dealing with religion. Once again, while at K-State, I took a History of Christianity class. My professor is very smart and educated in religion. He did not tell me what to think, but what we learned helped me form my opinion. We focused a lot on all the different saints and how they contributed to religion and how they are celebrated today. Obviously we did talk about Jesus and how he had an impact on religion. People called themselves Christians because they would listen to him teach, but Jesus did not enjoy having people call themselves Christians because he did not want people to follow him. He wanted people to learn about God. This really helped me come to my conclusion that Jesus was a man helping to get the word out on God. He was very good at teaching, but so was Paul. Why are they not on level playing fields if they did almost the same thing? Christmas to me is a celebration of family and the importance of being together.

4) Everyone knows what is right and wrong and I don't think that you need to go somewhere once or twice a week to have someone tell you this. I learned the first few times I was told what was right and what was wrong. I also have an opinion which sometimes people do not agree with, and that is fine, but they don't need to tell me just like I don't need to tell them what I believe. I can reassure myself whether what I am doing is right or wrong because I have a voice in my head that will make me feel guilty or make me feel good.

So to sum is all up, I believe that everyone knows what they need to do to get things done. I believe that having strength in yourself makes you stronger and sometimes you just need to meditate to get where you need to go. I believe in a personal relationship with God and in not having to go somewhere with others to make yourself feel good for a day. I believe in open minds and open hearts.

This was a tough blog to write because I know that there are people who read this who do not necessarily follow me constantly on here, and there are people who do. All of this just made my mind start churning when I saw that man in his suit.

Have a lovely Sunday!

-Dusti

THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

I am appalled. Absolutely aghast. Beside myself. Disappointed.

If anyone has been watching the news lately, via Internet or television, you have heard about the 5 suicides in the last 3 weeks of homosexual teenagers. All five of these precious people had been bullied or tormented in some way that they thought it was better to die than to go on living.

The ages of the boys range from 13 to 19. Most of the boys were bullied at school. One boy had his privacy completely invaded by his dorm roommate who thought it would be fun to secretly tape his private time with a webcam. None of these boys had done anything to harm their fellow classmates or anyone they lived with. They were completely innocent.

I do not care who you are, what you do or where you come from or even what you believe, but there is no excuse for tormenting someone because they are different from you. ANYONE who decides that they are better than someone else because of sexual preference, race, national origin or religious belief is completely ignorant.

There is a national campaign happening in America right now called "It Gets Better." This organization was developed to help those who have been teased or mocked for being gay, help get support. How sad is it that we have to have an organization dedicated to people giving support to people who love but love "the wrong people" because there is so much hate in our country that they cannot be proud of who they are? Being an alcoholic is a problem and that is why we have AA. Being gay is not a problem. We should not need support groups for LGBT people, but unfortunately, people cannot be open-minded enough to support them and their lifestyle.

To everyone out there having a problem accepting who you are or are being teased for being you, I encourage you to go to look up the videos on YouTube.com for "It Gets Better" videos. Not everyone is filled with hate. There are many people out there who love and support you. Watch the videos and know that life does get better. You can leave your abusers and find other to surround yourself who accept you for who you are. Be tough and keep your head held high.

I have never had a hard time with being teased so I do not know the torment that these people are going through, but if you are having a hard time, look in the mirror, be confident, throw on some glitter and know YOU ARE FIERCE!!

I love each and everyone of you.

If you need help finding glitter, I will put you in contact with my granny.

-Dusti

It is a great day to be an American and to know that you have more freedoms than most people do in some countries.

For instance, we have the freedom of religion, speech, and our right to choose. Even American women have more freedoms than women in certain countries who choose to degrade them because of their gender. We tend to look down on these people because it is different from ours and we just do not understand it. To the people practicing traditions or religions that we may not understand, their way of life is normal to them.

In recent days, it has been nationwide news that the state of California is over ruling the ban on gay marriage. Some people celebrated while others hissed and yelled that this was wrong. What I don't understand is why in a country so proud of their freedoms, we will not let EVERYONE be free. We pride ourselves on being equals, yet only some people are equal enough to be married. We are excited to show our affection to the ones we love, but they must be of the opposite gender. We take our full pages of newspapers to announce weddings, but only a male and female couple can pay for the ad space.

What is wrong with this picture? I'm not saying that we are like the countries that only let men vote or where women have to walk five feet behind a man. I am saying that if we are so proud of our freedom, why not let EVERYONE be free?

Marriage is not a something that should have been voted on. Marriage is showing the person that you love that you want to be with them forever. A judge cannot go up to a heterosexual couple and say "I give you permission to be married." He can officiate a wedding, but that is just showing that it is a legal, binding step. Some people I know are upset that the ruling was overturned because everyone had voted and they thought that the vote should stick. Did anyone vote to say if they could be married? Do we have to vote if they want to get divorced?

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with people of the same sex being married. It does not ruin the family structure. It does not degrade marriage. Nothing happens when two people of the same sex get married. Just because it is legal does not mean I am going to go out and marry a woman (obviously because I am heterosexual and already married). Also, many people say that they do not want to see homosexual couples showing their affection. Do you remember how I mentioned that we took out full page ads to announce how much we love someone? Do you hear anyone complaining about that? Plus, don't you think that a homosexual couple wants to see us displaying our affection? I don't want to hear how something is or is not "normal". The way I eat my M&M's is not normal and no one has a problem with that.

Then there is the argument about homosexual couples having babies. Some people argue that homosexual couples adopting or having a baby is not good because their needs to be both a male and female presence in a babies life. Hold the phone!!!! What about families where the parents are divorced and one or the other parents are not their to take care of the kids and neither parent gets remarried? How is that different? I know plenty of people who are raising their kids alone and their children turn out perfectly fine. Or what about the military families that have one member of the family gone for a year at a time? I know the person overseas will come back home, but what if the baby is in a crucial developmental time in their lives and they only have one parent to raise them? I support the armed forces, but that is not an ideal situation to be in either.

I have also heard that excuse that if a child grows up with two parents that are both male or female, they will tend to have the characteristics of those parents. Well aren't we all like that? However, you cannot contract homosexuality. It is not a choice, it is not learned. It just happens. I had a good friend in college who was gay and one night at work we were talking about how difficult it is to be gay in a small town. He was telling me some of his stories and I asked him "What do you think when someone asks you why you chose to be gay?" He said "That is crazy. Why would I choose to be something so many people hate?" Well said.

I know that my arguments are not strong, but I just want you to think about how groups of people feel when they are told that they cannot marry the one they love because they are just like you and me, only they love another man or woman. It is not fair, it is not right. We are not completely free until everyone is free to be who they are on the inside and out.

Until next time...

I Might Step On Your Toes....

Today there was a news story about a bus turning on its side in Wellsville, KS. 9 children were injured coming back from a church camp. After reading an article on MSNBC giving more information about the crash, I decided to read the comments that people could write regarding the article. I don't know why I read it (I can't even remember what made me remember that there was a comment section), but I read it anyway.

As I had predicted, before really getting into a plethora of the comments, there was a lot of discussion about God and why this happened. Some people were debating good and evil, some were debating about whether there is a God or not.

The comment that spurred the debate on good and evil stemmed from someone saying that they hoped the bus was from Westboro Baptist Church. They thought the church was in Wichita (which I felt a tinge of offense because he got the location wrong) until someone mentioned that the church was in Topeka and then laid into them about how no one should hope that children would be hurt. I don't think the original commenter meant for their quote to come off as wanting children (no matter where they are from) to be hurt, but his distaste for the things Westboro preaches. He said that they preach hate, which most people would find true.

Someone came along and said that the original commenter must not believe in God because he thinks that all churches teach hate. Well, that is not true either because clearly churches do not normally teach hate. The original commenter must have felt offended and probably just wanted to push everyone else's buttons because then a rant started about how God would not let something let that happen. This led to more people coming to the comment section and putting in their two cents about what goes on in churches, good/evil, what's real and what is not real.

This is where I might step on your toes. While reading this, I became very flustered when people stood on a soapbox when they expressed what they believed/thought. It made me a little sad that the comments had strayed away from feeling sad about what happened to these children, to being filled with their own hate from both sides. Maybe it is not so much hate, but more distaste for the other's point of view. People who did not believe in God were putting down those who did, and the people who did believe in God were saying those who did not were bad.

My take on this argument is right in the middle. If things were up to me, I would want everyone to just be quiet. I can understand both sides of the argument. No one wants to be told that they are "wrong" and everyone wants to be "right". There have been times where someone had told me something that I don't agree with, but I don't argue that I don't agree with them. Actually, that is a lie. I have had arguments with people that I have had a difference of opinion with, but I never told them they were wrong, I just told them that that is not something I would agree with.

Two weeks ago, NBC Nightly News had a report at the end of their telecast about how it was Ringo Starr's birthday. If you forgot who he is, he was the drummer of the world famous, British invasion, highly influential band, The Beatles. If you know me at all, you know that I love love love the Beatles. I was so happy to see this report because I have been very influenced by that band. I have seen their Cirque du Soleil production in Vegas TWICE, own movies based on their music, and get very excited when I hear their music. In fact, all their music was played during the dinner portion of our wedding reception.

While most of the Beatles have had controversial run-ins with the law (two being banned from two different countries), they stood for a lot of good. Two very important stances they took were on Love and Peace. They believed that love could make peace and peace could make love. I believe in both. When the nightly news was doing their story, they had a small interview with the now 70 (he does not look 70) Beatle. Ringo said that the only gift he wanted from fans that day was to say at noon "Peace and Love, Peace and Love". That is wonderful.

My version of peace and love is every accepting everyone regardless if you agree with them or not. However, there are gray areas to this thinking as well. I do not believe in agreeing with terrorists, people who hate, and racism. If someone planning on committing a crime were to tell me that they were going to commit a crime, I would try talking them out of it. If they decide that I was not convincing enough to keep them from committing the crime, then so be it. I would call the police, but that is all I could really do to help them. Anyway.

I was surprised that so many people could not just accept that someone might have a different opinion of them. We live in a world where everyone thinks they need to be right and if we don't agree with what they believe, than we are wrong. I was really sad that just because someone expressed their opinion, than they did not know God. Or if they did believe in God, they were small minded. I enjoy hearing people's opinions, and I think that all of these people had something in common without even realizing it. Both sides did not want to hear what the other had to say, and it made both sides mad. Why can't we realize that maybe we are all mad for the same reason? I have things that I believe and things I don't. There are days that I want to hear people's opinions, and days that I don't. I think we should all just state our peace, accept that someone may or may not believe it, and move on with our day. We should not continue so far into an argument to tell people that they are wrong and say mean things about them.

There are social things I believe in that some people do not agree with because of religious or personal reasons. For instance, I totally support gay marriage and people living a lifestyle different from my own. My take on peace and love helps me mold this opinion, plus I have many friends who are gay that I believe should have the same rights that I have. However, my upbringing would say that I am wrong. I grew up in a family that went to church where we were told that this is unnatural or wrong. I know that not all churches say this because now there are churches where there are homosexual preachers or churches that are with the LGBT Alliance. Regardless of what a church preaches, I still believe in gay marriage. If someone were to tell me that I was wrong and here are the reasons why, I would say "Well that is their opinion" and go about my day. If there was a ballot where you could vote on it, we obviously would not vote the same, but if they asked me why I felt so passionately about this, I would tell them. Never would I tell them that they are wrong, but I would try to maybe have them think about it in a different way. I also have views on feminist issues that are the same way. There are issues where I do not agree with my husband. We talk about them, but we never call each other names or say that each other is wrong. We have just learned to agree to disagree.

There are also the people that believe the same things I do, but they are so extreme that I have a hard time even talking to them. For instance, while writing this, Bill Mahr is on the Wanda Sykes Show doing a panel. Here is the thing about Bill Mahr, I tend to have the same thoughts he does, but he goes to an extreme where I cannot agree with him anymore. Or he makes people feel bad, which makes me feel bad for agreeing with him. He is very forward about his stance on religion and thinks that people are crazy for believing in a god. While I can respect him for having an opinion, he needs to be a little bit lighter about the way he presents it. He made a movie called Religiouless where he tried to show the crazy side of religion. I know tons of people who did not want to see this movie because he was so rude. He has the right to make a movie how he wants to make it, but he crosses the line when he goes to extreme measures to show people in a bad light or to make a point. I have seen clips of the movie in classes that I have taken, and that is enough for me.

I also believe in the legalization of weed. Personally I don't do it, never have and never will, but that does not mean that I do not see the good in legalizing this drug. You can stop reading here if you don't want to read my reasons (you are partaking in peace and love). Weed is not as deadly as drinking. I have not read anywhere yet where someone had died from inhaling too much weed. You can die from drinking too much without even getting on the road. Also, weed does not make people loud and obnoxious. It actually mellows people out. I know people who are very close to me that you can tell that they are much calmer after smoking. I would rather they are calm than full of stress and anxiety. People say that weed is bad because when you do it, you are so mellow that you cannot do anything else in the day. Well drinking too much has the same effect. When you drink, you cannot drive a car or perform a job to the best of you ability. When you smoke, you have to make the same responsible choice on whether it will keep you from doing something you really need to do. One of my friends suggested that we go out tonight but I said I couldn't because I had to get up early the next morning. I would have to make that same decision if I ever decided to smoke weed (which I would not). Also, the money going to try and catch people selling/doing weed could be spent elsewhere (like on education) if we stopped draining it into the ridiculous fight against the drug. Plus, jails would not be over crowded because we would have less people in them for something so small like possession. There is also the argument that there would still be crimes with people wanting drugs. My take is that the crime would be like any other crime: someone has something you want. Well, people rob banks for the same reason. A bank has money you want but don't have while a dealer has a drug you want but don't have. There should be punishment if you break into someone's home to steal their weed, but having it should not be a crime. Finally, there is the argument that weed is the gateway drug. That is not entirely true. Everyone I know who has done drugs have not necessarily wanted to try harder drugs. They smoke because they want to relax. There are some people who do harder drugs, but most of the time it is because they are adventurous and need something more exciting in their lives. My idea of being more adventurous would be to run a full mile. In conclusion, that is my opinion on weed.

This post started out talking about how we should just accept each others opinions and fight for love and peace, but it has ended with me selling my opinion to you. I believe that my opinions are all about having love for others and trying to make things easier and more peaceful for everyone. Take away from this what you want, but most of all I want you to have peace and love for each other.

Until next time....

Moving Has Aged Me.

Apparently I am terrible at keeping a blog, and probably not make this a career if I were looking to make money, because it looks like I would never show up for work!

The topic of today's blog is MOVING!!! (Pee-Wee Herman sound effects should be going in the background at this time).

Bryan and I just moved to Overland Park via Manhattan. I thought we were young, sprite youngin's but it turns out, you find out what 60 years old is going to feel like when you are 25 when you move.

We moved on Overland Park because Bryan is getting his doctorate at UMKC this fall and it just makes sense to move closer to school instead of making a 2.5 hour drive one-way, everyday. In past blogs, I have let you in on how hard and annoying it is to look for a job and a place to live. Well, I found a job and we found a condo to live in. The new job is just like my old job, just more high-tech. And our new place is like our old place in that it is rented.

Our new condo made us very happy because it was bigger, close to work, and in a nice part of town. After signing the lease, paying a deposit and first months rent (ouch! on the pocketbook), we were ready to start packing. Now, if you have ever moved, packing is not really the hard part. The only real downfall to packing is working up the motivation to actually wake up from your nap and start packing. We waited until the last week before moving to really start considering it. Sure we would sit around and think "Maybe my Jedi-mind tricks will finally work and I can mentally move that book into that box." That does not work quite so well. Saturday was the big day to move. So when Friday rolled around and we only had three boxes of books packed, we decided that maybe we should hunker down and really get to business. Nine hours later, our apartment had bare walls, but our floors were cluttered with boxes and boxes of "stuff".

Everyone knows how stressful moving is. We woke up thinking we needed to make the best of the situation and did...until one of our family members showed up an hour early, which was before we even got out of bed! Don't get me wrong. I was super excited for their early arrival because I figured that meant they held the excitement for moving that I was lacking. I figured that if someone else was excited, that might rub off on me and things would be better than expected.

That feeling lasted for about 45 minutes. Bryan and his father went to get the moving van while I got dressed and called my parents to see when they would be arriving. I had given them a time-frame to be at our place between 9 and 10. I knew that they would be later because lets face it, if your parents are okay being a little late to your wedding, they won't mind showing up even later to help move you. So I call my parents who live in Wichita at 8:45 and say "Hey, where are you?" My mom, smiling on the other end of the phone line says "We are sitting at McDonald's on 47th and Broadway." My jaw drops and I am sure my face turned red. "What?!" You see, 47th and Broadway is a mile from their house. They are supposed to be there no later than an hour and 15 minutes from that moment, and they still have to START a 2.5 hour drive to Manhattan. I was enraged. My mom laughs (because clearly this is hilarious) and says "Well you didn't sound like you were too serious about us being there at 10 so we were going to take our time." Meanwhile, my dad is in the background assuring me that they will be there in an hour and a half. Um, I don't know when my dad acquired super-human speed.

While I am fuming that my parents are late, Bryan and his dad start packing the heavy stuff. SIDENOTE: Last year when Bryan and I were moving into our apartment before our wedding, my dad decided to have a tent sale at his business that same weekend.

God Bless, Gary Pinkall. When I told him my parents were going to be late, he said it was fine and that he read a statistic that the two most stressful things a couple goes through is starting a new job and moving. Check and Check. So they start moving couches and beds while I load my car up. My parents show up at 10:30 (wow, my dad does have super-human speed or the cops did not want to try and chase him down), but I was still not in a good mood. I decided that that would be a good time for me to take a chair to my aunt's house that my cousin was going to pick up. That was a good move because that gave me time to cool down. Also, thanks to my Auntie Pam for talking me down as well.

Soon we were on the road to Overland Park. My dad and I lead the caravan of cars/moving van/motorcycle up to KC. Actually, I should say that my dad and I broke away from the pack. Did you know that moving cans are really slow? This lead to another level of stress because my dad was on his motorcycle behind me and I have never been so fearful of a motorcycle and until he was behind me. He let me lead since I had the GPS, which meant that when I changed lanes, I really had to look behind me instead of leading on faith that no one was in the other lane. If he was not behind me, I made sure to check and see if he was on the side of the road.

After the GPS told me to exit on closed Interstate exits, I decided to turn it off and find my way to our new place. I had only been their once, so I used my keen instincts and sense of direction to find our place. When we finally got to the condo (after everyone else who had been trailing about 10 miles behind us the entire time!), my dad says "Gee Dusti. You were speeding. You are a crazy driver." Wait...didn't you tell me earlier in the day that you would be able to knock and hour off of an normally 2.5 hour drive? And I'm speeding?

The unloading began. This time, my dad partook in the unloading of the heavy stuff. He moved couches and beds and bookshelves with the rest of the guys while I put my mom to work cleaning and I moved not so light boxes. My poor dad. He was sweating and huffing and puffing before anyone else, and he had only been moving our stuff for about fifteen minutes. Bryan and Gary had been at this for twice that long and looked like they could run a marathon after we got settled in.

When the boxes were moved in, we decided to take the truck back, eat some dinner, and those of us not staying the night (everyone by my mom and me) would go home. Before we went to dinner though, we kind of did a once over on the place. This condo was less than spectacular. When we did the initial walk-through after signing the papers, we noticed that some food had been left in the pantry, a bike was still on one of he balconies, and cans of paint were in different closets. Also, and by far the best part, was that our gas had not been turned on. This was our fault. The entire time we were switching services over, we forgot that some things were run by gas. So we tried lighting the pilot light. That did not work. So I call the landlords who happen to be our age and happen to be first time landlords (I am assuming). I ask about the pilot light and wonder if they have had any trouble with it. They said that the place had not been rented for a little while and it probably went out. They said we needed to call Kansas Gas Service. So Bryan calls and it turns out that they cannot come out until Monday. Cold showers anyone? This was Saturday so we cannot do anything with hot water like laundry, dishes, and most importantly, showers. With frustration setting in, we decide to go take the truck back and get dinner.

Finding businesses in a new town is tough. Sure we could have used our GPS, but it died after I used it because my cigarette lighter outlet does not work so it cannot charge while I drive. Does anyone remember what a phone book is? There happened to be one on our front porch, so we utilized this antique to find a Uhaul return place. The bad part about phone books is that they might come out every year, but address are not updated every year. So when we thought we found the closest depot, it turns out to be wrong. We pulled into a really nice neighborhood, contemplated leaving it in front of someone's house before deciding that maybe it would be okay to try one more number before giving up hope. We finally find a place, drop off the truck, eat, and my mom and I go back to the condo to clean.

Shout out to my mom for being a great cleaning lady. She knew all the ins and outs of getting built on grease off of ovens and how to not be afraid to stick your hands places you would not normally touch without bleach handy. Hearing "Oh My God" and "What Is This" randomly was quite fun. What was not fun, was finding out how much crap was left by the last tenants and was not cleaned out by our landlord. We found out that one toilet releases water in the tank and fills itself up without any manual help like flushing the toilet, the other toilet you have to hold the handle down until all the water is out of the bowl for it to fully flush, the Hot knob on the downstairs tub comes off in your hand, the landlords don't know how to clean grease off an oven, and apparently cleaning supplies are cheap for some people because they left the whole cabinet below the kitchen sink stocked with 3/4 used bottles of cleaning solution.

When the landlord came over to do the walk through the next day, my mom had encouraged me to ask for a discount on next months rent due to all of the work we have had to do. I asked, and we only got $50 off. Well that's not exactly enough, but it is something. When you spend $156 dollars on cleaning supplies and other fix-it stuff, you kind of want an equal discount. I will pay my mom back later. While the landlord was there, we also pointed out that we didn't know where to go in case of a tornado, we did not have the keys to our mailbox, she does not know how to clean an oven (Landlord "On of the burners on the stove does not work." Mom: "I checked them after I cleaned and they all worked." Landlord: "Oh. I guess that would happen when they are cleaned." Well, DUH!), and she needed to take the paint, bike and two ironing boards with her. Bryan said she looked a little mad that we pointed so many problems out, but we are their first real tenants because the people before us were their friends. I am not their friend so I am going to point out where they need to improve.

Today is the first day that has been a little relaxing despite it being my first day at a new job and Bryan having to do tests at school. We are very thankful for everyone who helped us move and those who sent good thoughts our way while we moved. Fortunately, we will be here for three years before we move again, and hopefully by that time Sonny will have married/same boyfriend/or friends we can use to help us move.

We miss everyone we have left behind, but you can keep up with us in here (if you really want to) or we will see you when we visit (even if you don't want us to).

Until next time...

Art and Television

First off, let me say WHEW! It has been a while since I have written anything. It is not that I have been busy, I just could not come up with something to blog about.

Today, I gathered my inspiration from what I am currently watching. As of this very minute, I am watching Work Of Art on Bravo. This is a brand new show that started about three weeks ago and kind of follows the order of Project Runway. People create pieces of art after being given a task, and then they are judged on creativity, technique, etc. Like Project Runway, people tend not to understand what the point of the art is on Work of Art. So many people watch Project Runway (or any fashion show for that matter) and wonder who actually wears the clothes that are being shown. This is a little bit annoying that people get annoyed with not understanding why someone would make something like this

(Armani Runway 2010)

People who do not understand art do not understand that this is wearable art. Of course no one would have a reason to wear these beautiful dresses, but you also would not take a Picasso, fold it up into a square, and carry it around in your wallet. I love clothes and I love fashion shows and seeing what everyone is making for he next season. So it really bugs me when people make comments about not being able to wear clothes that designers make. I have a different reason as to why I cannot wear their clothes; I am 5'1 and I will keep my waist size to myself.

I didn't have as much to say about art as I had intended, but that is okay. I can always make another blog dedicated to it later.

On to the next topic.

Has anyone seen any themes in television lately? I have noticed that channels have common themes among themselves. Take for example TLC. They focus mostly on huge families (Kate Plus 8, 19 Kids and Counting, Table For 12), little people (The Little Couple, Little People Big World), and obesity (One BIG Happy Family, Half-Ton Man). Bravo does the same with the Real Housewives Of...

Lets talk about the Real Housewives of New Jersey for a minute. Poor Bryan has to watch this show with me because I am absolutely in love with it. The premise of the show is that these 5 (now 4) women are really rich and live in New Jersey where they do rich things. Like me, you are probably thinking "I didn't know that anyone rich besides Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi lived in NJ". Well they do. And they are not all in the mob. Anyway, I was watching last night and one of the story plots was that Teresa was throwing a house warming party after living in this house for over a year. I think I heard that her house is estimated to be worth around $7 million dollars. Anyway, we were able to see the party planning happen and how everything came together. They were showing the rented furniture (I don't understand why you wouldn't show off your new furniture at this party) and I noticed that a lot of the fabric on the rented furniture was gold and animal print. I thought to myself "That is really cute, but I could not pull that off here." Every week that I watch this show, I keep thinking about how great it would be to be able to wear animal print and a lot of gold, and people would not think you are crazy. People in Kansas wear beige (you know who you are) and denim. I am not a beige and denim fan. I decided that to fulfill my dream, I need to move to Jersey for a week and see how much gold and animal print I can wear in one week. I do need to point out that I did think it was a little ridiculous that Teresa put leopard print clothes on her new born baby before she was even out of the hospital. I might have an inner Jersey girl, but even I know that is a little much.

If you know me at all, you would know that I like watching Gilmore Girls re-runs. For a minute there I thought I was exactly like Rory Gilmore because we were going through the same things and she wanted to be a journalist as well. I guess that just means that they had good writers. While watching this show in the afternoons on ABC Family, they have commercials for their other shows. One that seems to be very popular is The Secret Life Of The American Teenager. I will admit that when this show first came out, I did watch it. The creator is the same woman who came up with 7th Heaven which was a clean, family appropriate show. I grew up with 7th Heaven and wanted to see what this new show was all about. If you have seen any of the previews, you would know that it is about a girl who gets pregnant her sophomore year of high school. My first thought was "Well, that seems realistic." The more I watched, the more I realized that, sure, it covers all the different groups that pop up in high school, but some of these story lines are completely unrealistic.

When the first show was over, I looked at the message boards for this show. I can gather from the comments and screen names that most of the people writing on the message boards were from girls 12-17. Some of them would talk about the show and how much they like it, who they like, and what their parents thought because a lot of parents watched it with them. Then there were the messages stating that the girl commenting was pregnant or was thinking about sleeping with their boyfriend/girlfriend. This got me to thinking about the message that is being sent by this show. Is it good or bad? Do more people relate to this show and want to start sleeping with their partner or do they understand what the show is saying and is actually taking the message to heart? To me, the message is, okay, this is sex, and this is what can happen. Make the best decision for you.

I wondered if the people on the message boards were watching the show and making better decisions or if they were making fun of being a teenager and being pregnant. Some of the people on the boards would say "I think I am pregnant" and give little symptoms of pregnancy, but then they would make up some story for all the world to hear and people would start debunking their pregnancy. That is why I wondered if they were taking the message to heart or just using it to not take the message seriously. Personally, I think this is a great show for t(w)eens to watch with their parents so they can get some kind of dialog going. The story lines might be a little rough at times, but for the most part, it stays true to its form.

I also think that Teen Mom on MTV is a good show for t(w)eens to watch so they can see how hard it can be to be 16 with a child. SLOAT is good to show different options, but Teen Mom is great at showing what happens after you have a baby.

Sorry this blog is everywhere tonight. I am distracted because they are making artsy book covers and you know how much I love how to read.

Until next time...

If You're Going To Take A Picture For Everyone To See, Make Sure You Look At It First...And I Mean Really Look At It.

I had to yawn while writing that title because it was so long. Hopefully you are awake enough to continue reading this.

About three seconds ago, I was looking at the update statues' that appeared on my Facebook homepage and realized that someone had taken a picture of themselves to show their new hair-do. I clicked on the picture because I wanted to see what they had done to their hair. After saying "Oh, there's the difference", I realized that maybe this was not just a click and shoot picture. They had put some thought into how they were going to take the picture before just snapping away. In the picture, they had made this look that said "Is this okay?" by raising their eyebrows and biting one corner of their lower lip.

While I can see where this picture was going, I noticed something that maybe no one else has (or maybe they did not have the guts to say it). While the biting of the lower lip was a nice touch to making an artsy picture, the lip nibble actually made it look like she was chewing tobacco. After making this known to myself, that is all I could think about now. It went to being an artsy picture to being a picture that featured a disgusting habit. I could not get this image out of my head and now the picture was ruined.

This, however, was the the first time that I have seen pictures that have been completely ruined because the photographer did not take the time to look over their picture.

One of the worst pictures I have seen was a Facebook picture of a girl that I do not know. Honestly, I cannot remember where I saw the picture, but it was probably one of the groups on Facebook that is dedicated to bad profile pictures. Anyway, there was one picture in particular that really stood out. The girl was taking a picture of herself in her bathroom. It was one of those pictures that I like to refer to as "emo picture" because she took the picture from above her head while she looked up while the camera was facing down. You could see all of her body and she was wearing a swimsuit which can only mean that she was trying to get someone's attention. Well, she would be doing that, but for all of the wrong reasons. Here is why. Like I mentioned before, she took the picture in her bathroom. Well everyone knows that there is usually a bathtub, sink and toilet in a bathroom. In the background of this picture, there was not a bathtub or a sink, but the toilet. Most people would not think twice about the toilet being in the background, but this girl should have because someone had obviously gone to the bathroom beforehand and had not flushed the toilet. Lets just say that there was more than liquid in there. So now someone is definitely looking at the picture, but not because she is not leaving much to the imagination (either with her body or what she does while in the bathroom).

Obviously I spend a lot of time on Facebook and look at people's profile pictures. Once again, I was looking at someone's past profile pictures and realized something: They are all the same. Girls like to do this pose where they make "bedroom eyes" or make it seem like you are laying down next to them. The girl had all of her profile pictures set up like this. I have never seen a guy do a picture where he wanted to make an image that made it seem like you were in bed with him. I think girls do this because they want to make guys want them or want to sleep with them. Either way, it would probably seem boring to a guy if all of your pictures were like that. They might think "Is she constantly laying down?" or something along those lines. Also, these girls are never smiling in those types of pictures. That is something else I do not understand. If you finally found a companion, wouldn't you be happy? I admit that once I had a picture like that, but not for long because I realized how weird it looked. Also, it seemed unrealistic that my make-up would be as good in the morning as it was in that picture after laying down. Usually I have raccoon eyes and a red splotch on one side of my cheek from laying on either side of my face. This discretion also goes for girls that make kissy faces in all of their pictures. It pictures suddenly go from "nice lips" to "Are you sure you're not a duck?"

In conclusion, if you are going to take a picture in the bathroom, check the toilet first. And if you are going to use your profile picture as a way of picking up a soul mate, show them your other hobbies besides frowning, laying down, and kissing. Also, remember to only post pictures that your mother could be proud of because if she is anything like my mom, she will finally catch up with technology and want to be your "friend" on the Internet.

Until next time...

Getting To Know You...er...I Mean Me.

The title of this blog sounds very conceded, but what is a blog for if not for the author to talk about themselves? As much as I want to get to know you, I will need to go on YOUR blog to really do that. I spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out how to put in a background and choosing the text, so please do not try to make this blog your blog.

With that said and done, I would like to move on and explain what exactly I am trying to accomplish here. The point of this blog is to express my opinions about culture, celebrity, news and daily life. I also would like to point out that I think this blog is appropriately titled "I Know You Didn't Ask But..." because it means just that. You did not ask to hear my opinion, but I am airing it anyway. Take it or leave it; it is out there.

That last paragraph was very blunt, but on a recent trip to my parent's home, my father and I agreed that maybe I have become more cynical. I told him that maybe I was not so much cynical as I was opinionated. Plus, a lot of things bug me. However, before we get into the things I dislike, maybe I should tell you about things I do like:

1) SHOES!!!- If I won the lottery, I would buy shoes and then do everything else like travel and build a home. There is good logic behind this way of doing things because I need to know how big of a house to build to fit all of my shoes.

2) Books- Did you notice the background of this page? Yeah, it is a stack of books. I enjoy reading Fiction the most, but sometimes I like reading Biographies or "How To.." books. It is always a good idea to get a book about the area of your next vacation so you can plan a really great trip, so I enjoy reading those as well.

3) Cooking- I love cooking. Plain and simple. I like trying new recipes and when I go out, I like to try new foods. For instance, my husband and I went out this past April for his birthday at this amazing little place here in Manhattan, KS called Four Olives. I tried the Lobster Ravioli with Crab Meat sauce and it was probably the best meal I have ever had.

4) Husband, Family and Friends- They support me in everything I do. I hope I do not embarrass them with this blog.

So those are just a few things I enjoy. I do enjoy more in life, but you only have so much time in your day to read this blog, so I will leave it at my top 4.

Lets move on.

So this first blog is about something that happened to me just yesterday. I went up north of Manhattan for a job interview since Bryan and I will be moving very soon. The interview went very very well and hopefully I will be hearing tomorrow if I got the job or not. So on the way home I was thinking about all the possibilities that could arise from me getting this job. Bryan and I had already decided that if one of us were to get a job before the other, that person would go ahead and move until our lease was up at our current apartment, and then the other would follow. So I was thinking to myself (all the while thinking about how to get home without using the GPS!) that maybe now would be a good time to pick up the task of finding a place to live.

If I have never met you before, or you did not know, finding a place to rent gives me severe anxiety. Just five minutes into looking at places, my stomach started to hurt, as well as my head and dizziness settled in. It is so frustrating to put in the search engine of a renters site that you want a two bedroom townhouse for such and such a price, and when you hit "Search", it brings up apartment listings. Why even put up a tab that says "Houses/Condos/Townhomes" if that is what I asked for, but that is not what you are showing me? I even checked the box that said Condos and the box that said Townhomes as well. Was that not specific enough for you?

Not only did I have a problem with the fact that they were not giving me the information I requested, but the pictures they put on the site are absolutely HORRENDOUS! We are looking for a bigger apartment then we currently have, so square footage is something that I take into consideration. When they say that an apartment (because apparently when you say Townhome what you really mean is apartment) is 900 square feet, I want to see what all can fit into 900 square feet. One way to do that is to look at the pictures. A lot of places that are trying to lease apartments have pictures of model homes so you can kind of get an idea of what all can fit into that room. We have walked through quite a few and I have looked at a lot online, and they all seem to have one thing in common: tacky decorating.

The model apartments we have walked through all seem to have the theme that a giant must live there. Usually they have an over-sized love seat and couch that is sitting diagonally in the room facing a fireplace. Why would you put so many big things in one room to make it look spacious? I don't think that anyone who lives in an apartment is going to go out and buy over-sized furniture to make their house feel more cozy. Currently, we have a couch that could fit four and two rocking chairs and a small entertainment center plus a coffee table in the middle of the room that you can walk around without grazing your leg on any other furniture. Why trade six living room items for two large chairs so you can look at a fireplace? Also, usually the model homes will have some kind of cabinet entertainment center in them to show you that you have room for a large cabinet. First off, that makes it feel like a hotel room, and second, you would not be able to open the cabinet because of the giant furniture. There was one picture in particular that really made me queezy. Not only did they have a large cabinet to put your television in, but next to the cabinet, they had an adobe looking ladder leaning up against the wall for decoration. Who does that in an apartment or any place that is not a ranch? Clearly you cannot use that ladder for home repair purposes, so why not free up the space and make the room look a little larger by getting rid of the unnecessary ladder? Then the home decoration that made me want to scream was all of the fake plants they put everywhere. They had fake plants coming over the ledge of the mantel piece (with huge blue metal stars leaning up against the wall behind the plants) and some in the corners of the rooms. Unless the giant, who I am not sure lives in the apartment now, grew up in the forest, those plants are very impractical when trying to show how roomy an apartment can be.

Leasing places spend so much time focusing on the living rooms that they forget about the rest of the house. This same apartment had folding tables and chairs for the kitchen table with a fishbowl and bamboo as the centerpiece. Then in the bedroom, they had a bed coming out of the corner into the middle of the room (I don't understand that either) with what can only be called a hotel bed comforter thrown on the bed. Maybe they should put the distracting ladder in the living room into the bed room so you don't focus on how ugly the bedspread is. Splurge of a nice comforter so I don't feel like I am looking at renting a hotel bedroom.

Finally, in the kitchens of most of these properties, they have not had an update since avocado refrigerators were in style. I know that they are coming back, but do you really want an ugly fridge, exposed brick walls and wood paneled cabinets as your kitchen decorations? I would be so confused if I lived in this apartment. It would feel like I was on vacation with the Brady Bunch. Like maybe they moved their kitchen to their ranch style hotel room. It's just too weird.

Bryan has now taken on the responsibility of finding us a place to live. After this fiasco, I went to bed at 10:00 until he came home at 10:20 because I was so exhausted. I am almost tempted to let him just pick it out without any of my help because he knows what I want and I trust that he can find something that fits us.

So that is my first grumble for this blog. Look for more on a semi, maybe not so regular, basis. I also enjoy feedback.

Until next time...